Viisit!

I missed my husband so much and my baby Jax.I was so excited to see them both today.The whole visit at the hospital Jaxson would not wake up and slept the whole time i was there.The surgeon did take the stitches out and changed the trach.He did great and did not cry at all.They also took his IV out today.He was in process of being moved from PICU while i was there.
Michael and i talked to the chaplain and we had Jaxson Baptized today.As we prayed and he laid there i felt a weight lift .It was like yes he Gods child now and i know he is watching over his sweet boy and loves him just as much as Michael and I do.Jax will get a baptism record he also got a teddy bear,and a teddy bear quilt and a baptism Shaw.I promise i will post pics soon the nurse was sweet enough to take pictures for us.
I was going to stay home tomorrow and celebrate Landens Birthday.The nurse told me that if i came tomorrow and stayed with my husband we could do the 24 hr care then we would be released to go home Thursday.So change of plans...I am going to hospital in morning to get this done so we can get our baby boy home.I don't want to miss Landens Birthday as i missed spending Christmas with him.The party has been switched to Thursday evening so we are home to celebrate.
Michael called me a bit ago and told me Jaxson is now moved out of PICU and into a a room.I am so thrilled me sweet baby is doing well and we will all be home as a family again soon.

REARANGING!

I could not sleep so i thought i would post.I am thinking of ways to rearange Jax and Landens bedroom.I may move him into laundry area...LOTS of room away from actual laundry room.Only because it would be closer to us and because their is more plug ends there which we will need for all of Jaxsons equipment.I need to get this done before Jax comes home.Also need to come up with shelving or drawers or something to store all his supplies we will need in.I already bought a shelf to put all his feeding supplies on.
I hope we can decide soon what we will be able to do to get everything organized and ready for our beautiful son to come home.

ROUGH NITE LAST NIGHT!

Jax had a rough night he was running a fever..not sure how high because Michael did not tell me.He did not sleep at all and was up all night and most of the day today.The Ent's did not change his trach today.Something about staffing issues so Jax did not get moved from PICU.Tomorrow morning is when it is scheduled for the Surgeon and ENT to come in and change his trach.He should then go to a regular room.The kids and I are going tomorrow to visit him.I miss him so much and i miss my husband too.We have not seen much of each other.
I come home to rest and end up more tired and worn out at home then at the hospital.Some family things with my sister came up and it has been run run run.I am also planning Landens Birthday party.His Birthday is Wednesday.I am also hoping that is Jaxson's discharge day from the hospital.Its late i am tired and still need to pack Landens diaper bag and pack a few things to take to Jax .I cant wait to get him home.All his presents are under the Christmas tree waiting for him when he gets home.I am hoping i can cuddle my sweet baby tomorrow.They have not let us hold him until the surgeon changes his trach.6 days not in our arms has been rough we held him everyday and held him a bunch.

another Christmas day Pic!

Jax Christmas day in PICU

Christmas day was a great day for Jaxson!He was alert and happy all day.Yesterday was the same he was happy and smiling allday.Today he gets his stitches out and his trach changed.He will be leaving the PICU and moved to a regular hospital room.We are a step closer to coming home.I am still scared as our future is about to change with Jax being full time care now.I know he needed this trach though he was so sick and now he looks better his color is better and he is happier.The hardest part is the fact that Michael and I will do all his care because whoever would help has to be trained to care for him.This i know will be an issue.Pray for us and our son and what our future holds with our Angel.We are on an uphill climb with his medical and praying it gets better for all of us.
We Have made the decision to home school Jax next year.It is best with all his needs and care the he get his schooling from us.

HORRIBLE DAY!

Yes Christmas for me was horrible!I knew it was going to be tough being here on a Holiday!This was awful to be on this floor with really sick babies and sad parents.Then their is visitors all day visiting their loved ones here.Jax and I alone...In a scary and sad place that no one unless they been in a PICU can comprehend.To top it off i was hurt that my Parents could not even call and say merry Christmas.Not once have they called ever.
My beautiful Mother in law called the house to see how Jax was doing how wonderful she is i know she loves all of us as we love her dearly.My parents live 5 miles away and go by my house all the time and NOT once did they ask.Nor bother to say hey maybe we should call Denise and wish her a Merry Christmas after all she is at hospital ALONE with Jax and she is our daughter!I don't want to sound selfish but i feel hurt i mean its a sad lonely place here and how hard is it to call.
Then i was talking on my cell phone and dropped it to the point its in peaces...Nuff said on that .My wonderful husband is bringing a cell phone tomorrow.I miss my kids and my husband i am looking forward to a break but will miss Jax so much!

SORRY NO POST!

I have been so busy between the hospital and home i have not had a chance to update everyone.Jax had surgery yesterday at 1:30 and it lasted about an hour.He now has a trach and he is breathing so great.We had to take a class on how to care,clean and change the trach.It was very daunting and overwhelming.It is allot of information to take in and i thought i was going to break down and cry.I did not though .I went home to rest and Michael stayed last night.I came back today so we could take the CPR class we were required to take and got all that done.Michael went home tonight and will be back on Sunday.So jax and i will chill out here in the hospital for the holidays.
I brought his red Christmas blanket and his picture of him and brother on Santa's lap.The hospital was giving out small trees and bells to go on them.So we got one and now Jaxson has a Christmas tree in his room.While Jax may not be home for his first Christmas we will have one here complete with a tree.I brought one of his Christmas presents with me for him to open on Christmas day.The rest are at home and then what santa brings him as well as his stocking full of goodies will wait until he gets home next week.
Jax is doing really well.He is breathing better and wow has he been a happy guy today.I am scared of the trach a bit but it is getting better.I have suctioned him today the big step will be changing the trach.He is awake right now and watching the mobile the nurses brought in for him.I will be so happy when i can hold him again.