Missing some one special

I am feeling very blue today.I feel a piece of me is missing.That person is a sweet 3 yr old babe waiting in Africa for his Mommy and Daddy.I find myself looking at his pictures everyday.I cant wait to hold him and love him.To see his face in person and tell him how much we love him.
This sweet child who does not know he has a mommy and daddy and brothers and sisters who already think he is the greatest.Who buy things for him with their own money.Brian age 16 who was on the fence about us adopting Elijah has now decided this little man is his brother and is so excited about getting him home.
I think of him all the time ...I think about how i will react when i get their.I know i want to hold him and cuddle him but also know i dont want to scare my little man.I know i will be so emotional and wont mean to be.
I look at all his little clothes and toys i have bought him and cant wait to see him in those clothes and playing with those toys.I see his highchair and its wierd when set at the dining room table and look at the empty highchair knowing someone is missing.I cannot wait Until the day he is here...I love this baby so much....I love you Elijah mommy cant wait to give you kisses.

FRUSTRATED!

We are still waiting for KBI ughh.It has been in their hands over 2 weeks now.I am irritated as this holding our adoption.This is all we need to have the homsetudy done.When we adopted Landen it took 6 weeks to get it back.Its crazy.They kept saying it was done when i called them..come to find out it was setting on someones desk ughhh.
I want to move on and get it done so we can get Elijah home.I have never been one for patience I am a person that wants things done and now.I have always been this way.But waiting for weeks on end for something is CRAZY.I would rather be waiting for court and such in country then waiting on Kansas to get it together.
Ok i had to vent,,,I am not feeling well so this may be what has triggerd my frustartions.I had a tooth pulled yesterday so i just am not feeling well today.That piled on top of me not so patient waiting on Kbi to do their job just irritates me.

HE IS HOME!

I picked him up a little before 2 pm today at the airport.I was so happy to see him after 2 weeks apart.Landen was real excited and babbled the whole way home adding Daddy to every sentence he said.That was the only word we could make out was daddy lol.We got home and had to get ready for a bbq at my Cousins house.She was having a BBQ slash drinking party for her husbands 40th birthday.Michael and i are not drinkers but we enjoyed the company and the good food and our bottles of water.My teens showed up for a bit and then came back home(we live 3 blocks from my cousin).Landen had a blast they have a kid pool and all the little

ones were in it he wanted to be too and jumped in shoes and all lol.So i stripped him to his diaper and let him have at it.Luckily i had a change of clothes in his diaper bag.

I am happy hes home.Since he was in iraq we neither one like to be apart that long anymore.Now we are home... the girls are in their room playing twister and my 16 yr old over at the neighbors playing ps 2 with their son.Landen just went to sleep for the night and all is quiet.Michael is watching some tv at the moment and im getting my computer time.what a wonderful day to have our family healthy and husband back home with us where he belongs.

QUIET EVENING

I am enjoying the quiet time this evening, All the kids are at frineds house.Landen is here with me and is snacking on goldfish crackers at the moment.I done talked to Michael on the phone and am patiently waiting until saturday to pick him up at the airport.
I had to stop at walmart and get diapers for Landen..who can resist the baby isle?I was looking for certain toys for Elijah. Lights and sounds toys i am sure he would like.so i got him a V TECH baby happy lights bear.a cell phone that talks and lights up.A stuffed looking animal that ya pull the string and it vibrates and a book that crinkles and squeeks.I also found an adorable short outfit with khaki shorts and baby blue hawian like shirt.I love shopping for him.Of course i cant leave Landen out so he got a new ball.
No News on the adoption front..I hope social worker gets KBI check back soon so we can have a completed homestudy,Dossier is with the agency they are waiting for the homestudy.I hope it hurries i am ready to get fingerprint appointment with UCIS.I am so ready to meet our little man.He has those cheeks that are so kissable such a beautiful little boy he is.I am dying to hold him in my arms.I pray to hear from our social worker soon that she ha recieved our KBI.Until then...

Having a bad day!

My day started out good.Went to work ran some errands and came home.When i got home everything went to HECK.Brian did not mow the lawn or take out the bag of trash i had waiting for him at the back door.Linda did none of her chores either and wanted to whine at me how bored she was.Rebecca said.. i been lazy today.One look at the house and i had to agree they all had LAZY idis.
Then i got a call... Our camper was vandalized at the lake...I loaded the kids up and off to the lake we went..Sure enough...the door was kicked in and the storage compartment was all kicked and busted in.So tomorrow my camper will be pulled home to fix the things that were tore up and we are talking selling it now.Mainly because we dont have a truck to pull it.Thats why we pay to keep it at the lake for the summer months.we will buy a newer one that we can drive.
On top of all this I MISS MY HUSBAND.I miss him so so much.I cannot wait until staurday comes to pick him up at the airport.I am also bummed as i have not heard a word on the adoption end..I sure hope tomorrow is much better then today.I am so tired i dont sleep well with Michael gone.That and all i think about is Elijah.I worry about him and wonder if he is happy.
I been trying to teach Landen to say Elijah...and all he says is BABY lol. Ok baby will do as Elijah will be the baby in the house.i even tried to get him to say baby Eli.Nope just BABY its cute.I just dont know how Landen will do when Elijah is home he has been the baby for almost 4 yrs now.Landen will always be my baby.

CUTE KID!

Isnt he so cute?He loves to stand on the side of the house by the air conditioner..he likes the sound it makes.i was laughing he has a ton of stuff over there..empty flower pots his lawn chair.. and a ball almost like he is building a club house.Im going to have to take a pic of all his things its too funny.and if ya move them he gets them and puts them right back.

My Birthday Gurl

ISNT SHE PRETTY!

Rebeccas Birthday!

Today is my little girls Birthday she is now a teenager and big 13 today.How fast time goes.51/2 yrs ago we met this 7 yr old girl scared and half asleep at the airport with her daddy,This tiny quiet little girl is now a big girl and smart and athletic and so full of life.My baby is now a younglady.I always tease her about stunting her growth where has my little girl gone.
The idian outfit in the previous post was her birthday present.She also is taking 3 of her friends tomorrow evening to see a movie and i will bake a cake for her today.HAPPY BIRTHDAY REBECCA SUNITA! MOMMA LOVES YOU SOOO MUCH.

Amelia Earheart festival!

We have a Amelia earheart festival in a town close bye every year.To celebrate the famouse woman who flew a plane.Ahe was born in Atchison ,Kansas .Her grandpaernts lived there.Lots of activities and fun to dos.Even though i am not feeling my best i decided to take the kids and have some fun.First we walked the mall as they had all kinds of activities there.Folk music,booths to by hand made crafts.There was a juggler their and he was jugglinf balls as we approached him to watch.He took a ball and spun it on his finger.Hethen put Landens finger on the ball and Landen giggled with excitemnet as the ball spun on his finger.
Landen played the duck pond game and won a blow up spider man.That was huge for him he was so excited because he won it all on hi own.We then found another booth we were ecstatic to find.It was Indian clothing and jewelry.Rebecca was thrilled so we stopped and she got a beutiful fushia indian outfit and some bangles and bindis.She also got paint art put on.
The couple was very nice and talked to Rebecca..the man was from New Dehli and his wife was from Mumbai.So they asked where Rebecca was originally from she told them Mumbai.They were so excited and told she was the first to stop that is of india decent.He gave me his phone number and email and told us anytime we wanted an indian meal or to visit please call them.Or if we would like to order more clothes.
There clothes are HANDMADE they make them and are absolutely beautiful.Their prices were very resonable so i will definatle order more from them in the future.After our enjoyment of the mall.we walked to the River property my uncle owns and had a ptluck fish fry with all my family.I have a huge family and cousins andaunts an uncles.Its like a reunion of sorts.After we ate we walked to the carnival and Rebecca and Landen and Linda rode on some rides.Landen loved the carousel.We got some cotten candy to bring home and some bottled water.
Then back over to where all the family was at to watch the firework display.The most AMAZING frieworks.The are beautiful and Landen was putting his hand up like he could just grab them out of the sky.Landen can only see 6 ft.These are so big and bright he could see them and loved it.He clapped his hands and was in AWWE.He is so precios when something makes him so happy.Next year will be better when Elijah is home with us to enjoy this yearly summer event.

HOSPITL STAY!

I have not been feeling well for a couple weeks..thursday it took its toll on me i was feeling just rotten.I went to the Emergency room and was admitted for obsevation and further testing.I have a kydney stone that has not yet passed.Explains why it feels like someone is kicking me in the kydeny.They also found some other problems and i see and obgyn to get them dealt with.
Michael is in Texas so when i found out i was staying the night in the hospital i had to find somewhere for my 4 children to go.My mom kept Rebecca and landen.Linda stayed with her big sister Hannah and Brian stayed with his big brother William.I am so glad my oldest 2 are so responsible.Landen was so happy to see momma when i got home he set on my lap for an hour kissing me and cuddling.He is such a mommas boy.
My kydney still hurts but i deal with it.Until the stone passes i wont feel well.I miss my husband dearly.I cant wait until next saturday to pick him up at the airport.I dont sleep well with him gone.i am spending today just resting.

PICKY MAN PROVED ME WRONG

I griped about the way Landen has been eating,,i spoke too soon he ate ALOT today..The blue berry pancakes were a hit he ate 3 of them fir breakfast...He had gold fish crackers and sippy cup of water at 10:30 .For lunch he ate a burritoand glass of water.. Then around 3 he wanted a snack and ate...a nutrigram bar..about 4 oz of chocloate milk.We had supper out tonight and he ate a LARGE order of onion rings.
He has not eaten this much in a long time..around 8 pm he had a pudding cup some water and a few m&ms.I am glad he ate and was not as picky when i gave hime things to eat today.Now if i can keep him eating this way i would not gripe.

Picky eater!

Landen had always been very picky about what he eats.I know him having poor vision and the texture thing has alot to do with it.I want him to eat healthy things and have tried to sneak vegetables in.He knows they are there and spits them out..he does not drink..juice or milk..Only water and hotchocolate.I tried pediassure and he says no way dude he dont like it.So i bought the nutrigram bars he does eat those once in awhile.he loved cold cereal for breakfast and now HE WONT EAT THAT.He dont like eggs, he dont like anytype of meat or poultry.
He is so hard to feed...right now his top food is raviolis ,i am trying him on blueberry pancakes in the morning for breakfast he has not had pancakes forawhile so maybe i can get him to eat them.anyideas would be so appreciated.He has been home with us for 3 1/2 yrs and we still have major food issues. I am tried of running to the grocery store with a list of foods just for Landen and none are very good for him.The doc is not concernd as he is gaining weight but i am worried about his food choices.He is a junkfood junkie.Helppp!

ups and downs of adoption and life!

Adoption is such a rollercoaster ride sometimes.The stress and the wait and making sure every T is crossed and every i is dotted.I sent the dossier off and was upset my passport pics are not in the file.Ughh.. so here we go off to get them done again..The hangup is My sweet husband Michael is in Texas for 2 weeks.So i have to wait until he is home to go get them.I have looked everywhere for them.I am praying they magically appear very soon.
I know its all a pain but wow so worth it in the end.To have been blessed to love a child and watch him grow into a man and know you were the one that got that oppurtunity to parent that miracle that God has given you.
I miss my husband..after him being gone 18 months in Iraq (6months of it in training)It is hard to seperate from him.Yes its only 2 weeks but for us it feels like a life time.I have gotten bad after he got injured in Iraq.I want to hang tight and protect him.I know thats impossible to always be there to protect a grown man but its so hard.I dont wanna be apart from him anymore.I can definatley say after 18 months of raising the kids on my own it was the HARDEST thing i ever did.
I did it and the kids are still alive so i must of done something right.To those of you single mommas out there.I APPLAUD YOU. To be able to manage it all..It took me 6 months to adjust to being the only parent and getting in a routine of how to manage it all.At this time i had 5 kids in the home and was going to school in the evenings.I went on little sleep as i cleaned house after comming home from class after i got the kids bathed stories read and tucked into bed.When the kids went to school i studied and started it all again in the evenings.
Michael left yesterday i dropped him at the airport.It already feels like he has been gone FOREVER.I didnt sleep well last night so i hope to get a full nights sleep tonight.We called each other on our cell phones several times.I talked with him until he was so tired he couldnt keep his eyes open.I ope July 26th hurries up i will be wiaitng at the airport happily to pick him up and bring him home.
The next airport trip i wanna make is flying out to get our baby and bring him home for good.I cannot wait for that day to come.I am so excited.. I have never ever been on a plane before and never been to a forign country .But i am so geared about going.I lost out on so much with our other 2 children.Michael flew to India both times and brought them home while i stayed behind with our children.I will never get that back the first time i see their sweet faces and to see the place they grew up.I want to take so much in that my brain can handle when i am there with our baby.

Their comming around!

My family has not exactly been supportive of our adoption.My husband and i and kids are thrilled.My brothers and sisters and parents have not said alot but what they have said i may have taken it wrong maybe its me i dont know.My sister inlaw called me and said her little sister was having a yard sale and selling lots of baby items.She called to see what size Elijahs clothes are.She said she was going there this evening to get Elijah some things.She then proceded to tell me she cant wait to meet him.
I was shocked i never expected this.This is a Sister inlaw i LEAST expected to be so happy for us.But i am glad she is and i am glad i have someone to share our adoption journey with in our family.My cousin Ruby who is also a close friend is so excited about Elijah she could explode.She said hmm cant wait till Elijah gets home and mommy and daddy need a break and i get him ALL to myself.She is very attached to our Landen as well.
I am happy to see some of my family saying they do support us.My Mom and Dad are not saying alot but when they are here they ask me a ton of questions and she is always trying to see what new i bought for Elijah.They were like this with Landen too.But when they seen him at the airport that was it.He is their baby and they brag on him constantly.It will be the same when Elijah arrives home.My mom sure loves her grandbabies all soon to be 26 of them.Yes their is 26 granchildren(Elijah is number 26) but they are parents of 7 kids and we ALL have kids.
I am blessed to have a big family and love it...I also took my parents steps and Elijah will be number 7 for us.we are so blessed with all our babes .I am blessed to parent them all and cannot wait until Elijah is home.

crazy day!

Michael had an appointment at the VA today.I drove him there what a longggg day it ended up being.His appoinment was at 9 am and he didnt get done until 4p.m. I had Rebecca with so we went shopping for some school clothes(they go back to school early next month)Then we went to lunch at applebees.We set in the car alot as well.We also finally went and picked out her new glasses and orderd them.She looks so cute in them.
We got home to find Landen SICK.He is running a fever and has been in bed allday.So unlike my little boy.He is usually up playing and laughing and just happy.Today he has been in bed all day and not once has he smiled.My poor little boy.
Yesterday Michael had a VA appointment and we had Landen with us.we took him to the a park and had stopped and got lunch and ate it at the park.He played and had so much fun.We also bought tokens and went on a choo choo train Ride.Lande loved it so much.and today he is just feeling yucky.
I am trying to make a special day for all my kids..They all need some one on one time.Next week im taking Linda shopping and out to lunch as well.Then the next week is Brians turn for momma time.He will also go shopping and out to eat maybe a movie?I am just glad Michael has no MORE APPOINTMENTS for awhile.I didnt even work today..i thought we would get back in time so i could work for a few hours and that didnt happen.I am going to work in morning though i want a paycheck lol.
I was thrilled to get a couple baby pics of Elijah in the mail.These are a couple years old and you could tell he has that chubby baby face and is just so tiny.Definatley could tell he was under the age of 1.I feel lucky to get baby pics of him as most do not get them.I am waiting for the Kbi to come back to social worker so we can get our homestudy(got delayed) due to some changes the social worker and myself didnt know about.I just pray its quick.I am ready to get Ins done and get a fingerprint appointment.I just want my sweet Elijah home.I am so ready to go get him.Ughh i am so bad with patience.Its so hard knowing your child is so far away and you ache to hold him in your arms.I need to learn patience as i will need them in the next few months to not drive myself crazy waiting for Elijahs adoption to be complete.

Sweet Music!

Landen loves his keyboard..sounds like scary movie music..Here he is right after breakfast he is still in his Pjs.He loves to play and dont interupt him he gets vey upset when he is working on his masterpeice!i need to adjust the date on the digital cam as this was taken this morning.

Isnt he just the cutest kid?what a musician he is goin to be.

Relaxing weekend!

We spent our weekend camping at the lake.It was so peaceful..we have our camper in a spot that have no ther campers besides my best friend and hber family.But we were the only ones camping.It was so peaceful.we set in front of our camper and watched the firework display which was nice.Landen played hard and my grls didnt complain they were bored.My 16 yr old did alot of fishing and it was just a wonderful peaceful relaxing weekend.
This morning i woke up and made a big breakfast..cleaned up and packed up to come home.We didnt want to .We would of stayed another night but Brian has an orthodontist appoinmtment and Landen has an appointment at childrens mercy in the morningso we had to return home.It was nice to just get away from the real world for a weekend of Rand R.
I have been doing laundry since we got back..made dinner and got the little one bathed.Oh my he played hard today.I think i washed a pound of dirt off him .i have also been working on Elijahs Eeyore crib blanket...Its turning out super cute.Probably wont be done until he gets home.With 4 kids to care for and work i have a hard time finding time to work on it.I try to take at least an hour in the evening to work on it.
Landen doesnt want to go to sleep tonight.After his shower you would think he would be good and tired but nope...He is playing his keyboard roght now.Its late and i was hoping for him to go to sleep early as we have to get up early and drive an hour to the hospital for his eurology appointment.

longgggg day!

what a long day this has been!went to work got off work went to walmart.... went to AT&T got a cell phone plan for the family.Its cheaper then buying all these track phone cards everymonth.Picked up hubby at his job....ran some more errands then raced home to make dinner and do chores.Now im so exhausted and cant sleep.Tomorrow is another busy day i have several things to do.Including having the last of the documents notarized so i can mail our dossier out wooohooo!I am thrilled to get this outta my hands.

My busy body boy has discovered the word NO! and boy does he use it..Landen come here need to change your diaper...NO! Landen time to take a shower...NO!Landen time to take your medicine....NO! and the topper... Landen time to pick up your toys....NO! NO!NO!O h boy i have got to figure out how to break him from all the no's.Landen also refused to eat supper unless he was setting in Elijahs highchair.I have got to figure out how to break this before Elijah comes home.


Hats Landen had never liked hats...but with him having not so good vision he really needs to wear one the sun hurts his eyes.We were walking around at walmart and we were in the baby section...Landen snatched a sun hat with diego on it and stuck it on his head...He kept it there throughout the store.I told him i would buy it if he would wear it.I hope this is it he really needs to wear a hat.Linda wanted to buy him sunglasses and i told her thats not a good idea his vision is impaired already and he would definately not be able to see with them on.

I had applied to get Landen a special needs stroller...We have not heard yet if we can get funded for it.I pray he does..He is too tall for a regular stroller but he wears out when we go places like the zoo where there is alot of walking.Michael and I end up taking turns carrying him.But he is almost 38 lbs now and it about Kills us.I know tomorrow is another busy day...I am looking forward to the 4th of July holiday.We are going camping at the lake some R and R is what we all need.Rebecca my child who NEVER likes to go camping is the one who is MOST excited about going.