THE WRECKED CAR!

The white box hanging out by the tire is the wiper fluid container.

back quarter panel is loose in this pic and the paint on car is all scarcthed up.lol look at the corn sticking out of the tires.

Front of car... wheel is outward and blown tire.The driver mirror i did not get a pic of but is bent in and shattered.

CORN PRINCESS!

HERE IS A PIC OF LINDA IN HER HOMECOMMING DRESS!

SCARY WEEKEND!

We had an awful weekend and i do not want another like it.It was our high schools homecoming dance on Saturday night.Our daughter Linda got dressed in her beautiful dress to go she looked so GORGEOUS.We let Linda drive herself to the dance.
A mothers biggest fear happened...Linda called me a little after midnight in hysterics.I could not understand what she was saying.She handed the phone to a woman who then told me Linda was in a car wreck and where it was and that 911 had been called.When i got there i could NOT find the car nor my daughter i was almost hysterical by this time.Some one said she is in there and pointed to a cornfield,I went down this steep horrible ditch and walked and walked and walked finally seeing the car and my daughter.
Linda was coherent in pain and crying in Hysterics.I went to her and told her to stay still do not move her head as she was complaining of back pain.Yes i am a scared mom but i also took EMT school and knew she needed to be immobilized with complaint of back pain .There was no ambulance yet and i was like were they called?The dispatcher told them the wrong area.When they arrived they got Linda is c spine collar and out on the stretcher.I rode in the ambulance with her.
We got to er and they did cat scan of her head back and neck.I am happy to say nothing broke.No internal bleeding just really banged up.Her back is having Muscle spasms,her sternum is severely bruised(from seat belt) and her rib is sore also from seat belt.
The Angels were watching over our daughter! Linda fell asleep behind the wheel the car hit a sign spun in a circle in highway and went airborne landing in cornfield and spun twice more before sliding sideways to a stop.She was deep in the corn Field about 300 feet.I was relieved their was other kids driving home and the she was not alone on that highway.The car was so far in the Field it could not be seen from the highway.
I am upset the airbags did not deploy i am happy we have taught Linda the importance of buckling up. The seat belt saved her life.The sheriff came to the hospital and said if she would of went down the ditch the car would of flipped and rolled.But there are no tire tracks at all in the grass of the deep deep drop off of a ditch which shows the car went airborne and jumped the ditch.I feel the hands of God and the angels above carried our daughter to safety.I am blessed she is alive and well.
Michael's 2009 Kia on the other hand...well lets just say it pretty sick and got many bumps and bruises.Lots of front end damage.The driver mirror is bent in and shattered.After looking at this little car and i am so grateful Linda is fine.We are waiting to hear what insurance adjuster tells us about the car.I do have pics of Linda in her beautiful dress and i have pics of the car.I will post them later.

P.S. Linda lovingly inherited the name of corn princess.

HARD AT WORK!

My focus right now is typing letters printing them signing and dating them and printing a pic of Jax and dropping in the mail.I am WRITING ANYONE and EVERYONE who will help get Liberia children home.Those with referrals to be allowed to proceed and those who have court decrees (like us) before moratorium went in to effect to be allowed to get a visa and bring their child home.
This list is every Senator,congressman,Representative, U.S.state department and many many more.I have the letter typed up and will have them and Jaxson's pictures printed out today.I took a break because the guys that installed our furnace has made a huge dust mess all through the house as they were putting duct work and vents in.I have mounds of the stuff which is making my allergies go crazy.Lots of cleaning going on here today!
My herniated disc is NOT getting better i suffer in pain and its so hard to do the things i need to do as a mom and house wife.I cant lift a basket of laundry cant even vacuum the floors and just dressing myself hurts.My girls and some good friends are helping me out to keep up with my daily chores.It stinks when you cant do what needs done and makes me feel like i have failed my family.It is very difficult some days.I take aleve for pain which really does nothing for it.
Please say a prayer for us that all these letters will help take action is getting our children home. Pray that my neck gets better and i can be myself again.

HAVING A ROUGH DAY!

I woke up this morning not feeling well at all.The furnace guys are here working ,my neck hurts and the sears repairman will be here later to look at my wash machine that went on the brink.I cancelled the chiro today as i am feeling crappy and if its the flu don't want to give it to anyone.
I am so depressed about not being able to get our Jaxson home.This is pure ridiculous.3 babies that had families committed have died in Liberia during this wait to come home.This is killing me thinking that something like this could happen to Jaxson.These special needs kids who have families should be allowed to come home.Not linger in orphanages in Liberia where they pass because of the bureaucratic crap that is going on in Liberia.My heart breaks for these 3 families this should of NEVER happened.These kids had medical issues that could have saved them if they were in America to get the proper treatment.Instead they were held up and their innocent lives were lost leaving the adoptive families crushed and heart broken.
I know the love i have for Jaxson and of something were to happen like this i don't think i could bear the thought.Is this going to end? when will I parent my child?When will i hold him and rock him ?when he is sick doesn't he needs a mommas caring hand to make him better or hold him when he is sad?This is not fair!I am trying to be strong and trying to just go with the flow.That said it is NOT easy and i have to vent sometimes to get it all off my chest.I just want to parent my child.

THE WINNER OF CRAZY SOCK DAY!

School is having a different thing going all week!Landen won crazy sock today! I am a proud Momma.

BUBBLE BATH ANYONE?

Landen loves the new Jet tub!He don't care for the jets but boy he loves a bath.Our other bathroom is only a shower and he never did like showers.Time to look for some bath toys.This kid was like a fish came up looking like Santa clause with a bubble beard.He wiped it off to quick for me to get a pic.

PICTURE TIME

I am so thrilled to receive a new pic of my adorable son.He has GROWN weighs 23.2 lbs and is 33 inches.I love this little guy and cant wait to hold him.

GOODNEWS AND BAD AND OTHER STUFF

I have some news i have been wanting to share and decided why not now! It is not about our adoption but it is pretty good news.I was laid off my job early December and have been home full time now.I got my job back i will have a different patient this time and the best news of all it is only 2 blocks from my home,So i am able to walk to work some days i will have to drive because part of my job is taking her to doctors and shopping.
It even works when Jax comes home because i can take him to work with me.Michael is working on becoming self employed and he can also keep Jax on days i work.The cool part is my job is part time which is great.i get Holidays and weekends off as well.
Now for the not so good news.My nephew has been living with us for almost 18 months.I am sad to say he will no longer be living with us.I have had allot of challenges with him and thought we could work through them with lots of structure and a secure home life which he did not have with his mother (my sister).He disappeared for a few days and i had to call the police and report him as a runaway.Come to find out he was in another town at his dads.Now i don't mind him seeing his dad at all but he could of told me where he was at.I had called his cell phone several times and he never answered.He told his dad he had no school all this week which was a lie.So i called his Mom and she don't want him home because she cannot handle him.So he is living with his Dad now and will be here on Sunday to get all his belongings.This has been going on for awhile now and just to much for my husband and I to handle.I love my nephew but want whats best for him.
Today was another chiropractor day.She aligned my back which was shifted to the left.It helped a tiny bit with the pressure the herniated disc is putting on the nerves in my neck.But after such day i have allot of pain.Then there is this neck brace i wear for traction because my neck is leaning forward and some bones are trying to fuse together.I don't mind wearing the brace but with the inflamed hernia and nerve pain it hurts much worse and nothing touches the pain.I am still doing the hot cold packs and taking alieve for pain.I also bought a 40 dollar cervical pillow as doc Megan said i needed it.It does help me sleep more then i was sleeping.
Yesterday i went to wash a load of laundry and my wash machine was making an awful awful noise.Now we just bought this washer and dryer in April and they are front load heavy duty capacity.So i am a bit bummed that the washer is not sounding so hot considering i do at least 2 loads of wash a day in order to keep up.I called sears because they are under warranty and they are coming on Wednesday to fix them.
Now for a bit of yessssssssssss news.Our new bathroom will have a working jet tub toilet and sink today.I am beyond happy that this is almost complete.We still have to get a cabinet and some towel racks and things but the bathroom will be usable.So i went to walmart and bought bath rugs and towels and hand towels for our new bathroom.There is still some more things i need to purchase but will get them soon.
Our bedroom is painted but Michael's shelves for his small office area still needs to be built and then i need to call the carpet guy and have him come give us an estimate of what he will charge.Still have flooring left to to in Laundry room but for most part its almost complete.I will be taking pics tonight to share with you of the bathroom.
Kids are all doing well and we just wait for the day we can go get out babe.Please pray that day is soon.

THOUGHTS AND RAMBLINGS

It is almost 5 a.m and i am in pain and cannot sleep.So i thought i would write on my blog.
I have been thinking allot lately of the craziness of our adoption.How it has affected us and how our emotions are all over the place about how it is going.
In my true heart of hearts i know this is a test from God .Challenging our patience and making us stronger through this long horrific wait.I know we can pass this challenge that God has laid before us.He is a loving God and i firmly believe led us to our son.I know i have vented allot of the unfairness this wait has been.But it is all for a reason.I am letting go and letting God carry my burdens .
I will go to the end of the earth and back for our son that we love so much.we have never held him or kissed him.I hold him in my heart each and every day.I pray for him everyday that he stays healthy and to hang in there momma will come for him in good time.I don't understand the reasoning of why he cant come home and probably never will.
But i know i will be here with open arms when that glorious day comes.I wish many times i could write the Liberian President myself explaining the importance of letting Jax come home to receive medical care right away.But i know this is not possible.So i wait in hopes that the time is near to bringing him home. This has been very hard and very challenging for us.would i do it again to be this child's mother? Yes i would.
Our last adoption was a challenge with a long almost 2 yrs before he got to come home to us.I shed many tears over it and prayed.In order to get him home i had to get angry and do something about it.It did work 2 weeks after all the emails and phone calls we got approval to travel to bring our Landen home.I shed many tears over it and many days i wanted to throw my hand's in the air and say forget it all.But i couldn't because i loved this child for over 2 yrs and i was not going to give up.
I am the same with Jaxson i WILL not give up.I will do anything for him he is a sweet soul who deserves so much and all he can get out if life.I dream about our sweet son and how our lives will be making a big change for all of us and how we are all excited about it and ready for that change.I still have a strong deep in my stomach feeling that we are close to the day we will meet Jax.Please pray that my instincts are correct and we will be able to be a family once and for all.

THIS AND THAT!

This week started off with a very busy day! Linda had a doctor appointment this morning which resulted in going to the hospital for blood work and xrays.She has something going on with her stomach and we are not sure what yet.So we wait for the test.
Then it was lunch time after her appointment so Michael,Linda and I went for lunch then to walmart to pick up household items and Linda's medicines.After that we head over to the chiropractor for my appointment.Today was a bad one for me.I got 3 hrs sleep last night due to the severe pain i was having.The Doc was not happy when i walked in without the brace on my neck.I explained to her the pain was so severe it was making me cry in pain with it on.Tonight i am a little better.
It has been trying to do chores around home one handed.My cousin Ruby has been wonderful! She has came to my home and has been staying her to help me out.It stinks i cant even hold a coffee cup or open a medicine lid.Trying to fold laundry one handed has been trying as well.Ruby has been helping me manage the house hold chores i am glad i have her to help out.My sweet husband has been making sure Landen is dressed and his diapers are changed i am so grateful for his help.
No word or new pics of Jaxson yet.I pray soon we get some good news about our babe.I would love an update and wish i could send him a box of gifts from us.I still keep asking Michael to let me go spend sometime with him loving him and spoiling him like he should be spoiled.
I am praying that things get worked out soon and our sweet boy can come home to his family.Michael has put off building the ramp off the front porch we will need for Jax.I told him to just wait until spring time to do it.
Hope everyone is having a great Monday!

ORNERY BOY!

this one was taken a couple weeks ago!What a ham he is.

Waiting patiently for his breakfast!The minute he seen the camera he put the smile on.

This is what i got up to this morning!Clean folded laundry dumped on the floor and everything else he could grab.He is my mess maker.

CANT SLEEP!

It is 4:40 A.M and i am in so much pain i cant sleep.I decided to try a chiropractor and have a 9 a.m. appointment.I am praying she can help with this herniated disc.You can see the bulge on the back of my neck .It is rather painful and nothing seems to relive it.
No word on Jax yet and am still waiting for new pictures.I still have not changed his clothes from summer to winter wear but plan on doing some this week.I also still need to get his baby changer painted yes i am slow.But its been so depressing that i just cant bring myself to do it.I am still praying we can get Jax home before Christmas.My heart aches to hold him .I have not been able to convince my husband to let me go for a visit.I would in a heart beat if he would let me. Senator never got back with me so i am sending an email to see what they found out if anything.
How much longer do all of us families have to wait? Our children are growing and we are missing so much of it its heart wrenching.Not a day goes by that i don't pray for him and pray he stays healthy.I worry so much about our little boy.I hope soon we get some good news.

A NIGHT AWAY!

Michael has an appointment in the morning at Ft riley.It is a very early morning appointment so we have decided to leve tonight as its a long drive there.My cousin ruby is staying with the kids tonight so that is coverd.I am still in alot of pain which is causing me to get Nauseated.No matter what i do there is PAIN.
I called my doctors office and i cant get in until Monday.I dont think i can make it till Monday.I will call them again in the morning while waiting for Michael to get done with his appointment to see if they can get me in sooner.
No word on Liberia and i am literally going crazy.I just want some type of word of what is going on.This is maddening to me.I just want our son home.If i dont hear something soon...I will find away to come up with the oney and take a trip to Liberia to visit him.I need to hold my son.

HERNIATED DISC AND PAIN

I have a herniated disc in my neck that has been giving me allot of trouble.I had a series of epidural shots in my neck to help.It did help but not for long.Shots were in April.Friday i thought i had a kink in my neck from sleeping wrong.But yesterday i woke up in full fledged pain.I knew instantly what this pain was.I have never had pain like this and its untouchable Nothing helps it.I cant sleep as it hurts that bad.
For now i am taking Advil and doing warm packs but it just does not phase the pain.I will call my doctor on Tuesday.I finally broke down and took a lortab all it did was give an hour of sleep.The pan was still there but what little sleep i get i enjoy.

CLUTTER,DUST,LAUNDRY,HEATING

These are the 3 things i battle with most.The dust is awful due to the remodeling all my pictures are covered and curtains too!I have designated today to be the day to de clutter the piles that have formed in places it shouldn't and to dust and scrub everything.My dad is here painting my living room wall.There was a window there that is now a wall as my bedroom is on the other side.Once it is done and dried i can hang my pictures back up.
I will be happy when the remodels are finished.The dust and piles of cans of paint, ceramic tile and so on is starting to dwindle now .Soon we will have a resemblance of normalcy back in our chaotic house hold.
Our big thing right now is trying to get a heat unit in our home.We had an old Gas furnace last winter and it has seen its day.The old timer decided he was too tired and done with it all.So we have been getting estimates for heating and cooling and all duck work to be done before it turns to cold. The estimates have varied Greatly and the one we got today was the best by far.I am positive this is the one we will go with.
I guess this is long enough of a break my wash machine sang it me telling me its time to get my butt in gear.Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend.

WHAT TO BELIEVE AND WHAT NOT TO BELIEVE

I am hearing that kids with completed court will be issued Exit visa's to come home.But then i hear this is not the case that no one Knows what is going on.All i know is that it is taking an emotional toll.I am trying to stay strong and keep it together.I don't understand what good it is doing to keep our son in a home in Liberia when he has a loving family with open arms waiting for him here.A family that can provide what he needs and surround him with love.
Why cant they see the importance of his medical care?Why cant they see that a home life is way better then the setting he is in.I worry about his health everyday and how long his days must be.I check the computer several times a day in hopes for good news.I still get a feeling that we are close.The feeling is so strong... I pray God is telling me something.
Our last adoption was rough and this one seems to be going the same route.My husband tells me everyday that God is testing us to see if we truly can handle this wait .I am emotional yes..Its frustrating yes..But Jax is worth every bit of what we are going through. Its hard and i don't understand why we wait.But i know when he comes home will be the most happiest glorious moment for us.A piece of my heart is in Africa I hope someday soon that piece will fit back in its place and this Nightmare will be over soon.
Please pray that our little boys health maintains until he is able to come home to his forever family who is waiting with open arms.Please pray that they get this all figured out and all these African Angels can come home to their forever families.

CHANGES

I decided i needed a change on my Blog and as the weather seems to be chilly this past week it feels like Fall is here.There have been changes in our household as well the addition is making a awesome transformation. I am working to get my son and his girlfriend back on their own and in their own home.I live them but it is time they move on.
Landen has made big changes lately.. his vocabulary is expanding and he is doing more on his own.He is a kid who likes things tidy and neat.He says Please and thank you more.He is such a blessing and i am thrilled i am his momma.
I feel a big change coming soon.I feel it deep down that Jaxson will be coming home very soon.I have heard nothing its just that feeling i get.I get it quite often and am hoping it means we will be going for him soon.I still am hoping to get new pics of him soon.Hope all is well with everyone.Cant believe how fast this week is going.